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In high school, Jacob was all-state three times in cross-country; he still runs six to eight miles every day and competes at least once a month in local events.He has broken this routine only when he’s been lost in the stupor of his addiction.They have been together for nearly half their lives.
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If you didn’t know better, you might say he looks like a typical bewildered groom.
But what the picture really seems to capture, and perhaps this is why he won’t look directly into the lens, is Jacob at war with himself, trying to erase one terrible thought from his brain: that if his wife knew who he really was—if she knew about the pornography, the explicit online chats, the anonymous sex with other women, with random men—she would get as far away from him as she could.
I get the impression that her forgiveness may be so provisional that simply facing a reporter’s questions for an hour could undo it.
Four pairs of running shoes, all so worn-out that they’ve lost their shape and turned gray, are lined up inside the front door.
It may also be that she’s still not sure she’s going to stay here.
I’d hoped to talk with Ashley today, but she and Jacob have decided against it.Most addictions require you to extend yourself in some way—go to a particular place, spend a certain amount of money. The fuel for your disease is all around you, invading your senses. But when I ask him if he’s tired, he says no, just the opposite: "I sleep In a wedding photograph on the wall, Jacob holds hands with his wife, Ashley, on a country lane.The poet and professor Michael Ryan captures this experience in his unsettling, mesmerizing autobiography, JACOB* IS A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER, and on the morning he greets me at the door of his and his wife’s Seattle-area apartment, he looks as though he’s been up all night wrestling with code. He smiles hesitantly, his eyes skittering off to one side.The number of certified sex-addiction therapists has more than doubled since 2008, according to the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals.Hookup apps like Tinder (26 million matches per day) and Grindr (1.6 million active daily users) are growing wildly and multiplying, like real-life manifestations of the futuristic smartphone imagined by Gary Shteyngart in which rates the "Fuckability" of everyone around you.Jacob grew up devoutly Christian in a remote part of a midwestern state.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating